If He Had Been With Me
Written by Laura Nowlin
Originally published in 2013
About 391 pages
Rate: 9/10
My summary of If He Had Been With Me (no spoilers)
Phineas and Autumn have been best friends ever since they were born, but it wasn't by accident. Both of their mothers have been friends for a long time and planned to have them at the same time. Being next door neighbors and because their mother's are best friends already, it wasn't an option for them to be anything less than best friends too.
As they get older, they get picked on more and more for their 'odd' friendship by their peers. Eventually, they branch out into completely different social groups, even though some old habits stay the same at home, they grow apart. Maybe things would have been different, if he had been with Autumn that day instead of driving in the rain with her.
My thoughts on If He Had Been With Me
Though this was a very long book, it was pretty fast paced enough to binge read within three sittings. Autumn was such a good main character, her personality was so unique and her thought process was so relatable which is why it was hard to read her story. There were times where I didn't want to turn the page because I knew what heart ache was around the corner for her and I didn't want her to bare it.
The narrative switches between past, present, and future tense and that was a little bit confusing at first. It was hard to tell which moments Autumn had already lived through, but because the book starts off with an event, I figured that everything that was being said was before the incident. I liked the fact that the book starts off with such an event because if I hadn't have know what was coming, I might have been really pissed off. I wished that the accident didn't happen, and I tired not to think about it as I read, but I think that's the whole point of the book. Bad things happen, and no matter how hard we try to live in the past, we eventually have to come to terms with it.
The ending is open ended, and I still feel heartache for Autumn, but again, at the end of the day, we choose which path to follow, we can say things only got worst for Autumn, or we can give her a better future, one that she deserves.
Quotes
"Sometimes I am disappointed with love. I thought that when you were in love, it would always be right there, staring at you in the face, reminding you every moment that you love this person. It seems that it isn't always like that." (39)
"I had somehow forgotten that the world was much larger than us." (348)