MY YEAR OF REST AND RELAXATION
Written by Ottessa Moshfegh
First published in July of 2018
Roughly 290 pages
Rate 5/5
(Read: 2/27/25-3/4/25)
When I first saw this book it was gaining traction on Booktok, I thought nothing of it, I didn't even know what it was about. A few months ago, the title of the book called to me.
My friend and I were discussing the possibility of hibernation for humans. Is hibernation necessary and can it be done? How long should it last? What does it look like? In our discussions, we coined the term "Blue Butterfly Winter." A Blue Butterfly Winter looked as simple as this: At the start of December we would curate a nightly routine and then be in bed by 9 pm. In addition to that routine, we would plan one event per week to look forward to (including coffee meetups). This would go on until the end of February. Though the unnamed main character's hibernation was more extreme, we still wondered what the consequences of hibernating in general would be. This idea of hibernation was brought up because we had also been talking about the pressure to stay consistent and ignore seasonal depression. We suggested there has to be a better way without avoiding our feelings for several months. It was during this conversation about hibernation, both literal and metaphorical, that I realized My Year of Rest and Relaxation might hold the answers I was looking for. The main character’s retreat into herself, much like the "Blue Butterfly Winter" we had thought up, became a way to explore what it means to pause life, yet ultimately face the consequences of doing so. An unnamed young woman who feels a lack of connection with not only the outside world, but also her best friend, struggles to function outside of her apartment. "Things were happening in New York City—they always are—but none of it affected me. This was the beauty of sleep—reality detached itself and appeared in my mind as casually as a movie or a dream. It was easy to ignore things that didn’t concern me." The sinister undertones of the text suggest the main character is digging herself deeper into insanity as she pulls more away from society. With each passing day we start to wonder, how much of this is real? Is it all a dream?
The complexities of female friendships often drive the heart of many stories. The unnamed main character has a best friend, "I loved Reva, but I didn’t like her anymore. We’d been friends since college, long enough that all we had left in common was our history together, a complex circuit of resentment, memory, jealousy, denial." However, the unnamed main character is steadfast in her self-destruction as she begins to sleep for longer periods at a time, she begins to remember less. Her self-destructive behavior wasn’t limited to her inability to get out of bed. Alongside her complicated relationship with Reva, the main character also navigates a toxic relationship with Trevor. His presence seemed to exacerbate her internal struggles.. "I still couldn’t accept that Trevor was a loser and a moron. I didn’t want to believe that I could have degraded myself for someone who didn’t deserve it. I was still stuck on that bit of vanity." The way their conversations went was very peculiar to me, especially because of her dynamic with Reva who actually seemed to care for her. Their friendship reveals a more universal truth about relationships: they can be both sustaining and destructive. It makes me question how often we continue friendships out of obligation or history rather than genuine connection and also how much of our friendships and relationships are healthy versus habitual and at the end of the day, how much does it matter?
Ms. Moshfegh, thank you for writing such a brilliant story. In all my years of reading books, I have only come across a handful of books that do what this book did for me. What started out as a story of the mundane quickly turned into a cautionary tale. It wasn't until the last few lines of the book that I realized what a rude awakening this story told. Books of this nature are rare gems. I was struck by how the author manages to turn an ordinary setting, such as New York City in the early 2000s, into a hauntingly isolated world.
As with any story, liking it is a matter of personal preference. I know why I enjoyed the story, but for those same reasons someone else might not like the story. The story contains sexually explicit content which I feel added to the experience. This was the first time I had seen female sexuality displayed in that way and found it intriguing. I love complex characters such as this unnamed main character, at times she was unhinged which helped balance out the mundane. My Year of Rest and Relaxation isn’t just a book about a year of sleep, it’s about the dangers of disconnecting from the world, whether to escape pain, pressure, or simply because it feels easier. This is why, despite its dark humor and raw portrayal of self-destruction, the book is a reminder that retreating from life’s difficulties might not be the answer we are looking for.
Some quotes that stuck out to me:
"I was born into privilege, I am not going to squander that. I’m not a moron."
"The fear felt like desire: suddenly I wanted to go back and be in all the places I’d ever been, every street I’d walked down, every room I’d sat down in. I wanted to see it all again. I tried to remember my life, flipping through Polaroids in my mind. 'It was so pretty there. It was interesting!' But I knew that even if I could go back, if such a thing were possible with exactitude, in life or in dreams, there was really no point. And then I felt desperately lonely."
Here are some interesting Reddit threads about the book:
Reddit 1
Reddit 1
Here's a link to the Goodreads: Goodreads: my year...
And if you would like a more in-depth review, I enjoyed Emma Angeline's YouTube review: